The Transaction of Self
£2.99
Read with Pride in this powerful and poignant gay psychological drama. The Transaction of Self is the story of Julian Croft, a wealthy London executive living a perfect, curated life with his wife and family. Yet, beneath the impeccable suit lies a man drowning in silence. Julian harbors a secret desire for men, a need so dangerous he can only address it through a cold, meticulous system of paid encounters across the globe.
From a transactional meeting in New York to a soul-baring conversation in Paris and a transformative connection in London, Julian’s double life is a high-stakes balancing act. But when his wife’s suspicions harden into an ultimatum, the walls between his two worlds crumble. Forced to confront the devastating cost—both financial and emotional—of his decades of deception, Julian must choose: confess the truth and destroy his family, or perpetuate the lie and annihilate himself.
This is an award-winning gay fiction contender, a deep dive into the closet’s corrosive grip. More than an MM romance, it’s a gay literary novel about identity, shame, and the fragile architecture of a life built on lies. Perfect for readers of emotional MM books and LGBTQ+ fiction that explores the raw complexities of being true to oneself in a world that demands conformity. Discover one of the best MM romance-adjacent stories of the year, a heartfelt gay love story that is ultimately about learning to love the person you’ve hidden all along.
Read with Pride. Dive into a profound and emotionally devastating exploration of identity, desire, and the crushing weight of a double life in The Transaction of Self.
Julian Croft is the epitome of success. A managing director of a global investment firm, he lives in a pristine London townhouse with his brilliant curator wife, Eleanor, and their two adored children. His life is a curated exhibit of power, respectability, and familial bliss—a gilded cage of his own impeccable design. But Julian carries a secret that threatens to corrode the very foundation of his world. Since his wedding day, he has locked away a fundamental part of himself: his attraction to men.
Unable to seek genuine connection, Julian has constructed a meticulous, secret system. Using encrypted apps and untraceable funds, he pays for fleeting encounters with men in the world’s cities—Paris, New York, Rio, Tokyo. Each transaction is a carefully managed risk, a temporary salve for a loneliness so profound it has become the core of his being. He is not just a husband and father; he is a client, paying a fortune to rent fragments of a self he can never openly claim.
This is not a simple love story; it is a map of a fractured soul. We follow Julian from the cold efficiency of a New York transaction to the dangerous, searching intimacy of a Parisian conversation, and into the raw, human connection offered by Kai, a London artist who sees through his facade. As Julian’s secret life becomes more emotionally fraught, the walls between his two worlds begin to crack. A name whispered in sleep, a buzzing phone heard at the wrong moment, a panicked flight from a boardroom to his daughter’s school play—each near-miss escalates the tension.
His wife, Eleanor, is not a fool. She conducts a silent investigation of her husband’s growing absence, culminating in a shattering ultimatum: one week to tell the truth, or she will leave and expose him. Trapped between the life he has built and the man he truly is, Julian is forced to stare into the abyss. He confronts the staggering financial and emotional cost of his duplicity, revisits the childhood shame instilled by his father, and finally, must choose between two forms of destruction.
The Transaction of Self is a masterful work of gay literary fiction and a gay psychological thriller that delves deep into the closet’s psychological prison. It’s a story for readers of heartfelt MM fiction who seek more than romance—they seek truth. This award-worthy gay novel explores themes of masculinity, fidelity, parenthood, and the desperate human need to be known. It is a top LGBTQ+ book for anyone who has ever felt the disconnect between their public face and private heart.
Perfect for fans of: Hanya Yanagihara’s emotional depth, the psychological tension of Patricia Highsmith, and the nuanced exploration of queer identity found in authors like Garth Greenwell. This is a gay book club essential, promising passionate discussion about marriage, authenticity, and the price we pay for our secrets.
Experience a journey that is as intellectually stimulating as it is emotionally harrowing. Read with pride as you swim deep into Julian’s mind, from the heights of power in London’s financial district to the intimate, rented rooms where he seeks salvation. This is a new gay release that will resonate long after the final page is turned, a stark and beautiful reminder that the most expensive transaction of all is the betrayal of one’s own soul.
3 reviews for The Transaction of Self
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Add to cartLove is the ultimate weapon in a forbidden war.
Stationed at a remote Saudi base, Sergeant Alex Vance finds his disciplined life upended by a dangerous attraction to Corporal Khalid al-Faisal. Their secret, passionate affair is a crime in both their armies and a sin in Khalid’s world. But their forbidden bond becomes a fatal liability when they uncover a high-level conspiracy to smuggle missiles, led by the calculating Colonel Hashim.
Blackmailed with exposure, their love is twisted into a chain of silence. Forced apart, with Khalid pushed into a wedding and Alex facing court-martial, their rebellion seems crushed. Yet, from the depths of despair, a desperate plot is born. Transforming from victims to insurgents, they embark on a perilous mission to expose the truth, racing from desert safe houses to stormy seas, hunted by the very powers they swore to serve.
The Sand and the Silencer is a pulse-pounding fusion of military thriller and tragic gay romance. It’s a story of two soldiers who find in each other the courage to defy empires, risking everything for a love that could get them killed—and a truth that could start a war. A tale of sacrifice, unwavering devotion, and the high price of breaking the silence.
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Code Name: Sapphire
£3.59Add to cartA reckless MI6 agent. A disciplined CIA operative. A forbidden love that becomes their most dangerous mission.
Jack Taylor (MI6) is chaos in a leather jacket. Mario Rossi (CIA) is control in a tailored suit. Forced to partner to stop a ghost-like trafficker of secrets known as The Broker, their clash is instant and explosive. Professional contempt ignites into a secret, passionate affair—a catastrophic liability in their world of lies.
As The Broker’s schemes turn lethal, targeting one of their own, Jack and Mario must bridge the gap between Jack’s impulsive genius and Mario’s rigid precision to have any hope of success. But when a rival agent from Mario’s past threatens their fragile trust, and The Broker discovers their secret, they are framed as traitors. Hunted by the very agencies they swore to protect, they have only each other.
To survive and expose the truth, they must do the impossible: infiltrate The Broker’s lair. It will take every ounce of their skill, trust, and newfound love to win. But can a relationship born in shadow survive the glaring light of day?
Code Name: Sapphire is a pulse-pounding M/M romantic thriller full of electric tension, steamy encounters, and heart-stopping action. It’s an enemies-to-lovers story about finding your equal in the most unlikely place, and fighting for a future when every rule says you shouldn’t have one.
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Single Dads LGBTQ+ Club: Love, Hugs, & Second Chances: Book 1 of the Single Dads Club Romance Series
£3.59Add to cartSingle Dads LGBTQ+ Club: Love, Hugs, & Second Chances
Architect Marcus’s life is orderly, quiet, and lonely. Teacher Leo’s life is chaotic, warm, and on pause. Their worlds collide in the one place designed for them: the Single Dads LGBTQ+ Club.
Marcus, a single father to Lily, is intrigued by Leo’s genuine profile—a fellow dad to Sofia who admits to failing at French braids. What begins with hesitant texts about parenting fails blossoms into a powerful connection over pancakes, pillow forts, and shared fears.
But merging two ready-made families is the ultimate test. They must navigate skeptical exes, blend chaotic schedules, and build trust with each other’s daughters. From designing their dream home together to facing a real-life storm that threatens it, their love is tested at every turn. Supported by a vibrant found family from the Club, they learn that true strength isn’t in going it alone, but in building a “village” strong enough to hold all their dreams.
This is a heartfelt, steamy romance about second chances, blended families, and the beautiful, messy work of building a home and a love that lasts. It’s a story that proves family isn’t just who you’re born to, but who you choose, and that the bravest thing a person can do is open their heart to love again.
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Milano Nudo
£3.99Add to cartMilano Nudo (Milano Naked): A Gay Romance of Fashion, Trust, and Transformation
Read with pride. An emotional MM romance book about a couple who dares to explore.
Luca and Mateo, a devoted bisexual couple from Madrid, arrive in Milan expecting glamour, fashion, and romance. What they discover is an invitation into a hidden world—elegant, exclusive parties where beautiful people gather to celebrate connection and freedom.
Bound by rules and deep trust, they navigate candlelit palazzos and artful gatherings, not to escape each other, but to see each other more clearly. Every experience—from a dance of seduction to a liberating naked party—strips away convention and insecurity, revealing deeper layers of intimacy.
But the true transformation begins when they return home. The week in Milan ignites a creative fire, turning their intimate journey into art and reshaping their entire lives.
This is not a story of reckless abandon. It is a gay contemporary romance about communication, consent, and the courage to be vulnerable. Perfect for readers who love character-driven LGBTQ+ fiction with emotional depth and steamy, consensual scenes.
Milano Nudo celebrates a modern relationship tested and strengthened by exploration. If you believe love is not diminished by curiosity but deepened by it, this book is for you.
Read with pride. Discover your next favorite MM romance book today.
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Add to cartMario Rossi is Italy’s most handsome man, living a life of glamour and adoration. But Mario is a lie. Inside is Maria Isabel, a woman screaming to be free.
Her decision to transition shatters her world. Her family disowns her, her friends abandon her, and the media turns her into a scandalous headline. Alone and facing a terrifying future, her salvation comes from an unlikely place: Andrea Lombardi, a powerful, older billionaire who offers her sanctuary, support, and a love she never dreamed possible.
The Sun and the Shadow is the epic, emotional journey of Maria’s transformation. It’s a story of medical procedures and personal courage, of public scorn and private triumphs. As Maria fights to make her body match her soul, she must also navigate a complex romance, the painful echoes of her past, and the burden of becoming a symbol for others.
From the depths of rejection to the heights of authentic love and the creation of a new, chosen family, this sweeping 53-chapter novel explores the true cost of becoming yourself. It is a poignant, powerful, and ultimately uplifting saga about identity, resilience, and the unwavering light that can be found even in the deepest shadows.
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Noah, a small-town artist, and Leo, a corporate lawyer escaping his gilded cage, meet by chance at a snowy Christmas market. An instant connection leads to tree lightings, cozy coffees, and a glimpse into each other’s opposite worlds: one of chaotic farmhouse love, the other of cold, polished expectations.
Drawn together by a powerful attraction and a shared longing for authenticity, they embark on a transformative journey. Leo must find the courage to choose a real life over a performative one, even if it means walking away from everything he knows. Noah must believe he is worthy of a love that promises both incredible joy and daunting challenges.
Their romance blossoms through seasons of change—a wedding that blends their families, the creation of a community art gallery, and the quiet strength needed to face a family illness. Ultimately, their love expands to include their greatest dream: building their own family through adoption.
A Family for Christmas is a sweeping, emotional MM romance about the courage to be true to yourself and the incredible family you can build when you find the person who feels like home. It’s a heartwarming story of found family, resilient love, and the everyday magic that happens when two hearts decide to build a life together, not just for the holidays, but for every day that follows.
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Add to cartNORTH SEA FIRES: A Bisexual Romance Novel
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Mario Rossi is Italy’s most handsome man, living a life of glamour and adoration. But Mario is a lie. Inside is Maria Isabel, a woman screaming to be free.
Her decision to transition shatters her world. Her family disowns her, her friends abandon her, and the media turns her into a scandalous headline. Alone and facing a terrifying future, her salvation comes from an unlikely place: Andrea Lombardi, a powerful, older billionaire who offers her sanctuary, support, and a love she never dreamed possible.
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From the depths of rejection to the heights of authentic love and the creation of a new, chosen family, this sweeping 53-chapter novel explores the true cost of becoming yourself. It is a poignant, powerful, and ultimately uplifting saga about identity, resilience, and the unwavering light that can be found even in the deepest shadows.
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Add to cartHow to Come Out with Your Book to an Audience (free after payment options under attachment section )
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Add to cartLiam is the perfect golden boy. Caleb is the all-star baseball captain. Their love is the town’s best-kept secret—and its greatest threat.
In Oak Creek, a town where reputation is everything, Liam Hayes and Caleb Miller have mastered the art of performance. Liam, the school president, uses his charm and a promise of piety to hide his truth. Caleb, the team captain, uses his athletic prowess to mask his own. Their only real moments are stolen—in a secret treehouse, in whispered notes, in the life-saving touch of a hand in the dark.
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Name: Marcus Thorne
Email: marcus.reads@mail.com
Title: A Devastating and Necessary Masterpiece
Rating: ★★★★★
The Transaction of Self is not a book you simply read; it’s an experience you survive. As a reader of literary MM fiction and gay psychological thrillers, I was captivated from the first page. The author doesn’t just tell us about Julian’s double life—we live inside his panic, his meticulous calculations, and his profound, aching loneliness. The structure, moving between cities and encounters, is brilliant. Each “transaction” reveals a different facet of his need: the coldness of New York, the intellectual spark in Paris, the raw humanity of London’s Kai. This is so much more than a gay romance; it’s a forensic examination of the closet as a psychological prison.
What hit me hardest was the portrayal of his family. The scenes with his daughter Lily shattered me. The love is real, which makes the betrayal so much more tragic. The ultimatum from his wife Eleanor is one of the most powerfully written confrontations I’ve ever read. This book doesn’t offer easy answers or fairy-tale endings. It offers truth—messy, painful, and ultimately, cathartic. It’s a top LGBTQ+ book for 2026 and an absolute must-read for any gay book club. Be prepared to have your heart broken and your perspective shifted.
admin (store manager) –
Name: Claire Peterson
Email: c.peterson.books@mail.com
Title: Heartbreaking and Profoundly Human
Rating: ★★★★★
I typically read MM contemporary and gay romance novels, but this book was recommended as something “deeper,” and it completely transcended the genre. The Transaction of Self is a monumental work of gay fiction. Julian Croft is a character of stunning complexity. I found myself simultaneously empathizing with his trapped desperation and recoiling at the collateral damage of his lies. The author’s insight into the mind of someone living a double life is nothing short of breathtaking. The “system” he creates, with its encrypted phones and secret accounts, feels terrifyingly real, mirroring the way we all compartmentalize, albeit on a less dramatic scale.
This is a gay psychological drama of the highest order. The tension is relentless, not from external threats, but from the imminent internal collapse. The supporting characters are flawlessly drawn—Eleanor is strong and perceptive, not a caricature of a wronged wife, and Kai, the artist, provides a beautiful counterpoint of authentic, un-purchased connection. The ending is perfect: not tidy, but authentic and shimmering with fragile possibility. If you’re looking for steamy MM romance, look elsewhere. If you’re looking for an emotional, award-winning gay novel that will haunt you for weeks, this is your next read. Read with pride—and a box of tissues.
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Name: Daniel R. Lee
Email: danlee.writes@mail.com
Title: A Literary Triumph for Queer Fiction
Rating: ★★★★★
As an LGBTQ+ author myself, I am in awe of this novel. The Transaction of Self is a stunning contribution to gay literature. It tackles the timeless queer theme of the double life with a fresh, modern, and psychologically nuanced intensity. The prose is razor-sharp and evocative, pulling you seamlessly from the boardrooms of London to the anonymous hotels of Julian’s secret world. This isn’t just a gay love story; it’s a profound meditation on the cost of authenticity in a world built on certain expectations of masculinity and success.
The use of different cities as backdrops for different emotional needs is masterful. Rio represents passion and freedom, Paris represents intellectual connection, and London represents the dangerous proximity of truth. The MM fiction genre is often pigeonholed, but this book blows those constraints apart. It belongs on the shelf with serious literary fiction. It’s a gay psychological thriller where the villain and the victim are the same man. The final chapters, dealing with the aftermath and the first tentative steps toward healing, are some of the most moving I’ve ever read. This is a new gay release that deserves major awards and a wide readership. An absolute triumph.