The Secret Journal of Bandar Seri Begawan

URGENT: Over 71 Million LGBTQ+ Lives at Risk

71+ million LGBTQ+ individuals currently live in nations where their identity is criminalized. Over 60 countries still impose imprisonment, violence, or death penalties for same-sex intimacy. Brunei enforces one of the world's harshest legal frameworks: where being gay can result in death by stoning.

This is the story of quiet resistance. Of a journal hidden beneath textbooks. Of a student who refused to be erased.

Gay student in Brunei writing secret journal under lamplight, facing persecution and death penalty

Brunei's Anti-LGBTQ+ Laws: A Death Sentence for Love

Key Facts:

  • Sharia Penal Code implemented in 2019
  • Same-sex relations punishable by stoning to death
  • Whipping penalties for women
  • Zero legal protections for LGBTQ+ citizens
  • No freedom of expression or assembly for queer individuals

In Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei's gleaming capital, luxury hotels and golden-domed mosques paint a picture of prosperity. Behind closed doors, LGBTQ+ residents live in constant fear. Every conversation monitored. Every relationship concealed. Every moment of authentic self-expression a potential death sentence.

Explore stories of resistance and resilience in our LGBTQ+ fiction collection: https://dickfergusonwriter.com/collections/all

The Secret Journal: One Student's Defiance

Ahmad (name changed for safety) was 22 when he started his journal. A computer science student at a local university, he maintained perfect grades, attended Friday prayers, and never drew attention. His journal: written in English and hidden inside a hollowed-out textbook: told the truth his life couldn't speak aloud.

"Day 347: Saw him at the library again. We didn't speak. We can't. But I felt alive for those three minutes."

"Day 412: Mother asked why I won't marry my cousin. How do I tell her I'd rather die than live a lie?"

"Day 589: Applied to Victoria University of Wellington today. I'm terrified. I'm hopeful. I'm desperate."

Two men sharing forbidden glance across library in Brunei where homosexuality is criminalized

Ahmad's journal documented three years of suffocating secrecy: missed connections, swallowed words, and the relentless performance of heterosexuality. It also charted his escape plan.

Read powerful stories of LGBTQ+ courage: Check out The Divided Sky: Secrets of a Secret Love for narratives of forbidden love.

The Journey to Freedom: Wellington, New Zealand

New Zealand LGBTQ+ Protections:

  • Marriage equality since 2013
  • Comprehensive anti-discrimination laws
  • Legal gender recognition
  • Conversion therapy banned
  • Thriving LGBTQ+ community and resources

Ahmad's student visa approval arrived on a Tuesday. He had 21 days to prepare. He told his family he'd return after graduation. He knew he never would.

The flight from Bandar Seri Begawan to Wellington: with connections through Singapore and Sydney: took 17 hours. Ahmad spent them reading every page of his secret journal, then tore it into pieces and scattered it in airport bins across three countries. Evidence destroyed. Old life discarded. New chapter beginning.

Landing in Wellington on a winter morning in 2024, Ahmad experienced his first moment of freedom: holding hands with another man in the airport arrivals area. No one stared. No one threatened. No one called for his execution.

LGBTQ refugee arriving at Wellington New Zealand airport after escaping Brunei persecution

Support LGBTQ+ refugee stories through literature: https://readwithpride.com

Life After Escape: Wellington's LGBTQ+ Haven

Wellington's compact city center, nestled between harbor and hills, became Ahmad's sanctuary. The difference wasn't just legal: it was atmospheric.

Ahmad's first months included:

  • Attending his first Pride parade (tears streaming down his face the entire time)
  • Joining Rainbow Wellington support groups
  • Starting trauma counseling for religious persecution survivors
  • Dating openly for the first time
  • Making LGBTQ+ friends who understood his journey

"I started a new journal here," Ahmad shared in a community interview. "But now I don't have to hide it. Now I write about joy instead of just survival."

The Global Crisis: Where LGBTQ+ People Cannot Be Themselves

Ahmad's story represents millions. Countries where homosexuality remains criminalized include:

Death Penalty Jurisdictions:

  • Iran
  • Saudi Arabia
  • Yemen
  • Nigeria (northern states)
  • Somalia
  • Brunei

Imprisonment & Persecution:

  • Malaysia
  • Singapore
  • Pakistan
  • Uganda
  • Ghana
  • Jamaica
  • Over 50 additional nations

71+ million LGBTQ+ individuals live under these legal systems. Their choices: lifelong secrecy, forced heterosexual marriage, imprisonment, violence, or escape.

Gay couple holding hands freely along Wellington waterfront after escaping anti-LGBTQ laws

Discover narratives of LGBTQ+ persecution and survival: The Campaign for Us explores political and personal battles for acceptance.

Seeking Asylum: The Legal Path to Safety

New Zealand, Canada, United Kingdom, Germany, and other nations recognize LGBTQ+ persecution as valid grounds for asylum. The process requires:

  • Documented proof of persecution or credible fear
  • Evidence of country conditions
  • Detailed personal testimony
  • Legal representation
  • Often years of waiting

Ahmad's refugee claim took 14 months to process. During that time, he couldn't work legally, couldn't return home, and lived in constant anxiety about denial. His claim was approved in March 2025. He now has permanent residency and works as a software developer.

Supporting LGBTQ+ Refugees and Literature

Read With Pride publishes and promotes LGBTQ+ fiction that honors these experiences: stories of escape, resilience, coming out, and living authentically despite persecution.

Recommended titles exploring displacement and identity:

Shop the full collection: https://dickfergusonwriter.com/collections/all

Ahmad's Message to Others Still Hiding

"To everyone still writing secret journals, deleting messages, living double lives: you deserve better. You deserve safety. You deserve love without fear. Start planning. Research asylum laws. Connect with LGBTQ+ refugee organizations. Save money quietly. Document everything safely.

Your life is worth saving. Your truth is worth living. There are countries where you can hold hands in public, kiss your partner goodnight, and wake up without fear.

Freedom exists. It's worth the terrifying journey to reach it."

Before and after: shadowy Brunei room versus bright Wellington apartment with rainbow flags showing LGBTQ refugee journey

Take Action Today

Support organizations helping LGBTQ+ refugees:

  • Rainbow Railroad (emergency relocation)
  • UNHCR LGBTQ+ asylum programs
  • Immigration Equality (legal assistance)
  • Local Rainbow communities in safe nations

Amplify LGBTQ+ voices through literature: Visit Read With Pride for gay romance books, MM novels, queer fiction, and LGBTQ+ literature that centers these essential stories.


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