The Transaction of Self
£2.99
Read with Pride in this powerful and poignant gay psychological drama. The Transaction of Self is the story of Julian Croft, a wealthy London executive living a perfect, curated life with his wife and family. Yet, beneath the impeccable suit lies a man drowning in silence. Julian harbors a secret desire for men, a need so dangerous he can only address it through a cold, meticulous system of paid encounters across the globe.
From a transactional meeting in New York to a soul-baring conversation in Paris and a transformative connection in London, Julian’s double life is a high-stakes balancing act. But when his wife’s suspicions harden into an ultimatum, the walls between his two worlds crumble. Forced to confront the devastating cost—both financial and emotional—of his decades of deception, Julian must choose: confess the truth and destroy his family, or perpetuate the lie and annihilate himself.
This is an award-winning gay fiction contender, a deep dive into the closet’s corrosive grip. More than an MM romance, it’s a gay literary novel about identity, shame, and the fragile architecture of a life built on lies. Perfect for readers of emotional MM books and LGBTQ+ fiction that explores the raw complexities of being true to oneself in a world that demands conformity. Discover one of the best MM romance-adjacent stories of the year, a heartfelt gay love story that is ultimately about learning to love the person you’ve hidden all along.
Read with Pride. Dive into a profound and emotionally devastating exploration of identity, desire, and the crushing weight of a double life in The Transaction of Self.
Julian Croft is the epitome of success. A managing director of a global investment firm, he lives in a pristine London townhouse with his brilliant curator wife, Eleanor, and their two adored children. His life is a curated exhibit of power, respectability, and familial bliss—a gilded cage of his own impeccable design. But Julian carries a secret that threatens to corrode the very foundation of his world. Since his wedding day, he has locked away a fundamental part of himself: his attraction to men.
Unable to seek genuine connection, Julian has constructed a meticulous, secret system. Using encrypted apps and untraceable funds, he pays for fleeting encounters with men in the world’s cities—Paris, New York, Rio, Tokyo. Each transaction is a carefully managed risk, a temporary salve for a loneliness so profound it has become the core of his being. He is not just a husband and father; he is a client, paying a fortune to rent fragments of a self he can never openly claim.
This is not a simple love story; it is a map of a fractured soul. We follow Julian from the cold efficiency of a New York transaction to the dangerous, searching intimacy of a Parisian conversation, and into the raw, human connection offered by Kai, a London artist who sees through his facade. As Julian’s secret life becomes more emotionally fraught, the walls between his two worlds begin to crack. A name whispered in sleep, a buzzing phone heard at the wrong moment, a panicked flight from a boardroom to his daughter’s school play—each near-miss escalates the tension.
His wife, Eleanor, is not a fool. She conducts a silent investigation of her husband’s growing absence, culminating in a shattering ultimatum: one week to tell the truth, or she will leave and expose him. Trapped between the life he has built and the man he truly is, Julian is forced to stare into the abyss. He confronts the staggering financial and emotional cost of his duplicity, revisits the childhood shame instilled by his father, and finally, must choose between two forms of destruction.
The Transaction of Self is a masterful work of gay literary fiction and a gay psychological thriller that delves deep into the closet’s psychological prison. It’s a story for readers of heartfelt MM fiction who seek more than romance—they seek truth. This award-worthy gay novel explores themes of masculinity, fidelity, parenthood, and the desperate human need to be known. It is a top LGBTQ+ book for anyone who has ever felt the disconnect between their public face and private heart.
Perfect for fans of: Hanya Yanagihara’s emotional depth, the psychological tension of Patricia Highsmith, and the nuanced exploration of queer identity found in authors like Garth Greenwell. This is a gay book club essential, promising passionate discussion about marriage, authenticity, and the price we pay for our secrets.
Experience a journey that is as intellectually stimulating as it is emotionally harrowing. Read with pride as you swim deep into Julian’s mind, from the heights of power in London’s financial district to the intimate, rented rooms where he seeks salvation. This is a new gay release that will resonate long after the final page is turned, a stark and beautiful reminder that the most expensive transaction of all is the betrayal of one’s own soul.
3 reviews for The Transaction of Self
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Add to cartHunted by their own governments, two rival spies must stop a presidential assassination while navigating a forbidden romance that could get them killed.
Alexei Volkov, a cynical FSB operative, and Nikolai Orlov, an idealistic Belarusian KGB analyst, are forced into a partnership to investigate a shadowy threat. They uncover “The Crimson Compact,” a conspiracy by a rogue general to assassinate Putin and Lukashenko. When their own agencies betray them, branding them as traitors, they have only each other to rely on.
Their professional rivalry ignites into a desperate, passionate love as they are hunted from St. Petersburg to the forests of Belarus. Going rogue, they must use Volkov’s lethal skills and Kolya’s brilliant mind to expose the plot. Their hunt leads them to a deadly GRU assassin and a corrupt oligarch, culminating in a heart-stopping race to stop a drone strike at a major military exercise.
Facing an unthinkable choice between their mission and each other, they must trust a paranoid security colonel to help them avert a war. In the aftermath, they are granted a new life, but must learn to live with the ghosts of their past and build a peaceful future from the ashes of their old selves.
“The Crimson Compact” is a gripping espionage thriller filled with political intrigue, high-stakes action, and a deeply emotional MM romance. It’s a story of betrayal, redemption, and the transformative power of love in a world of lies.
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Add to cartThe Granite Creek Vet: A Story of Heart, Home, and Second Chances
An American veterinarian seeking escape finds more than he bargained for in a remote Canadian village. Dr. Tom McCarthney’s arrival in Granite Creek is met with cold resistance, especially from Jacob Miller, a handsome, stoic dairy farmer who sees him as an unwanted outsider.
Their frosty beginning is shattered when a devastating illness threatens to destroy Jacob’s herd and his family’s legacy. Forced into a desperate, round-the-clock battle to save the farm, the two men discover an unexpected connection in the sweat and straw of the barn. A tentative, secret romance blossoms between the city-educated vet and the rugged farmer, challenging their deepest insecurities and transforming their lives.
But building a future together means facing external pressures from a skeptical community, confronting painful ghosts from Jacob’s past, and deciding if their love is strong enough to overcome any storm. The Granite Creek Vet is a heartfelt, emotional MM romance about finding home, healing old wounds, and the transformative power of a love that is hard-won and worth every fight.
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The Last True Bake-Off
£3.59Add to cartArthur, a traditional baker from Iowa, and Mateo, a modernist pastry star from NYC, are culinary rivals thrown together as finalists on a elite baking show in Italy. Their very public feud—butter vs. liquid nitrogen, heart vs. intellect—is catnip for the cameras. Forced into proximity in a secluded villa, their bitter clashes slowly give way to grudging respect, then into something far more dangerous and delicious.
As they face challenges that test their souls as much as their skills, they discover the vulnerable person behind the other’s professional armor. A stolen kiss amidst a cloud of spilled flour changes everything, but when a scandalous photo leaks, threatening Mateo’s carefully constructed brand, he must choose between protecting his empire or embracing the real, messy connection he’s found with Arthur.
The Last True Bake-Off is a warm, witty, and heartfelt enemies-to-lovers rom-com. It’s a story about embracing the unexpected, finding your perfect blend, and discovering that the greatest creations often come from the most explosive collaborations. Perfect for fans of heartfelt banter, foodie backdrops, and stories where love is the ultimate showstopper.
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Add to cartA Global Tapestry of Love, Family, and Resilience.
Raising Rainbow Kids offers an unforgettable journey into the lives of fifteen LGBTQ+ families across the world. This powerful collection of true stories captures the raw emotions, everyday challenges, and extraordinary triumphs of modern parenting.
Experience the hopeful anxiety of IVF in Barcelona, the steadfast love of a single foster dad in Chicago, the cross-border legal battle of two fathers in Tokyo, and the quiet defiance of mothers hiding their love in Nigeria. From navigating school bureaucracies and explaining “dono-dads” to children, to finding faith and fighting for legal recognition, these narratives reveal the universal desire to build a safe and loving home.
More than a catalog of hardships, this book is a celebration of resilience and joy. It showcases how these families are raising a new generation of empathetic, strong children. With chapters that move from intimate stories to reflective essays on community and legacy, the book provides both profound insight and practical resources.
Ideal for LGBTQ+ parents, hopeful parents, allies, educators, and anyone interested in the evolving face of family, Raising Rainbow Kids is an inspiring testament to one truth: love, in all its forms, is what makes a family. Discover these courageous stories and see how the quiet revolution of the heart is changing the world, one family at a time.
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Add to cartTwenty years ago, they were a secret. Now, they’re building a forever.
Alex Vance and Liam Hayes were the golden boys of Northwood High—the football captain and the school president. Behind closed doors, they shared a forbidden love: a first kiss full of promise, and a heartbreaking breakup fueled by fear.
Two decades later, a school reunion brings them face-to-face. The successful architect and the driven non-profit president are both single, both scarred by life, and both stunned to find the embers of their first love still burning bright.
Tentatively, they embark on a second chance. But the past holds painful secrets, and the present brings new challenges: small-town gossip, family rejection, and a health scare that tests their commitment. They must learn to love as the men they are now, not the boys they were then.
The Unspoken Chapter is a deeply emotional MM romance about forgiveness, resilience, and the courage to claim a second chance at love. Follow Alex and Liam’s journey as they prove that some loves are worth the wait, and that the most beautiful future can be built upon the repaired foundations of a broken past.
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The Protocol of Passion
£3.99Add to cartThe Protocol of Passion: A Whitehall Affairs Gay Romance Novel
Two rivals. One bed. A secret that could cost them everything.
Sven Eriksen lives by protocol. Tim Ashworth lives by instinct. When the two brilliant, stubborn men are forced to partner on a high-stakes diplomatic mission to Berlin, their professional rivalry explodes into something far more dangerous. A hotel booking error leaves them sharing a single king-sized bed. A drunken confession—”God, I’ve fancied you from day one”—ignites a passion neither can control.
Returned to London, they embark on a secret affair, hiding their scorching connection between policy meetings and official functions. From electric glances across conference tables to reckless kisses in deserted corridors, every stolen moment is a risk. Their careers, their reputations, everything hangs in the balance.
As they navigate dangerous international crises, clandestine dates, and the tender intimacy of a shared sauna, their connection deepens into a love they can no longer deny. But when a face from the past threatens to expose them, Sven and Tim must choose: is their love a catastrophic error, or the most inevitable thing in their lives?
The Protocol of Passion is a sweeping, emotionally charged gay romance novel featuring forced proximity, slow burn, and breathtaking steamy MM romance moments. Perfect for readers who love workplace romance, secret relationships, and stories about finding the courage to love against all odds.
Read with pride. This 41-chapter journey is just the beginning.
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Add to cart
Hunted by their own governments, two rival spies must stop a presidential assassination while navigating a forbidden romance that could get them killed.
Alexei Volkov, a cynical FSB operative, and Nikolai Orlov, an idealistic Belarusian KGB analyst, are forced into a partnership to investigate a shadowy threat. They uncover “The Crimson Compact,” a conspiracy by a rogue general to assassinate Putin and Lukashenko. When their own agencies betray them, branding them as traitors, they have only each other to rely on.
Their professional rivalry ignites into a desperate, passionate love as they are hunted from St. Petersburg to the forests of Belarus. Going rogue, they must use Volkov’s lethal skills and Kolya’s brilliant mind to expose the plot. Their hunt leads them to a deadly GRU assassin and a corrupt oligarch, culminating in a heart-stopping race to stop a drone strike at a major military exercise.
Facing an unthinkable choice between their mission and each other, they must trust a paranoid security colonel to help them avert a war. In the aftermath, they are granted a new life, but must learn to live with the ghosts of their past and build a peaceful future from the ashes of their old selves.
“The Crimson Compact” is a gripping espionage thriller filled with political intrigue, high-stakes action, and a deeply emotional MM romance. It’s a story of betrayal, redemption, and the transformative power of love in a world of lies.
admin (store manager) –
Name: Marcus Thorne
Email: marcus.reads@mail.com
Title: A Devastating and Necessary Masterpiece
Rating: ★★★★★
The Transaction of Self is not a book you simply read; it’s an experience you survive. As a reader of literary MM fiction and gay psychological thrillers, I was captivated from the first page. The author doesn’t just tell us about Julian’s double life—we live inside his panic, his meticulous calculations, and his profound, aching loneliness. The structure, moving between cities and encounters, is brilliant. Each “transaction” reveals a different facet of his need: the coldness of New York, the intellectual spark in Paris, the raw humanity of London’s Kai. This is so much more than a gay romance; it’s a forensic examination of the closet as a psychological prison.
What hit me hardest was the portrayal of his family. The scenes with his daughter Lily shattered me. The love is real, which makes the betrayal so much more tragic. The ultimatum from his wife Eleanor is one of the most powerfully written confrontations I’ve ever read. This book doesn’t offer easy answers or fairy-tale endings. It offers truth—messy, painful, and ultimately, cathartic. It’s a top LGBTQ+ book for 2026 and an absolute must-read for any gay book club. Be prepared to have your heart broken and your perspective shifted.
admin (store manager) –
Name: Claire Peterson
Email: c.peterson.books@mail.com
Title: Heartbreaking and Profoundly Human
Rating: ★★★★★
I typically read MM contemporary and gay romance novels, but this book was recommended as something “deeper,” and it completely transcended the genre. The Transaction of Self is a monumental work of gay fiction. Julian Croft is a character of stunning complexity. I found myself simultaneously empathizing with his trapped desperation and recoiling at the collateral damage of his lies. The author’s insight into the mind of someone living a double life is nothing short of breathtaking. The “system” he creates, with its encrypted phones and secret accounts, feels terrifyingly real, mirroring the way we all compartmentalize, albeit on a less dramatic scale.
This is a gay psychological drama of the highest order. The tension is relentless, not from external threats, but from the imminent internal collapse. The supporting characters are flawlessly drawn—Eleanor is strong and perceptive, not a caricature of a wronged wife, and Kai, the artist, provides a beautiful counterpoint of authentic, un-purchased connection. The ending is perfect: not tidy, but authentic and shimmering with fragile possibility. If you’re looking for steamy MM romance, look elsewhere. If you’re looking for an emotional, award-winning gay novel that will haunt you for weeks, this is your next read. Read with pride—and a box of tissues.
admin (store manager) –
Name: Daniel R. Lee
Email: danlee.writes@mail.com
Title: A Literary Triumph for Queer Fiction
Rating: ★★★★★
As an LGBTQ+ author myself, I am in awe of this novel. The Transaction of Self is a stunning contribution to gay literature. It tackles the timeless queer theme of the double life with a fresh, modern, and psychologically nuanced intensity. The prose is razor-sharp and evocative, pulling you seamlessly from the boardrooms of London to the anonymous hotels of Julian’s secret world. This isn’t just a gay love story; it’s a profound meditation on the cost of authenticity in a world built on certain expectations of masculinity and success.
The use of different cities as backdrops for different emotional needs is masterful. Rio represents passion and freedom, Paris represents intellectual connection, and London represents the dangerous proximity of truth. The MM fiction genre is often pigeonholed, but this book blows those constraints apart. It belongs on the shelf with serious literary fiction. It’s a gay psychological thriller where the villain and the victim are the same man. The final chapters, dealing with the aftermath and the first tentative steps toward healing, are some of the most moving I’ve ever read. This is a new gay release that deserves major awards and a wide readership. An absolute triumph.