The Transaction of Self
£2.99
Read with Pride in this powerful and poignant gay psychological drama. The Transaction of Self is the story of Julian Croft, a wealthy London executive living a perfect, curated life with his wife and family. Yet, beneath the impeccable suit lies a man drowning in silence. Julian harbors a secret desire for men, a need so dangerous he can only address it through a cold, meticulous system of paid encounters across the globe.
From a transactional meeting in New York to a soul-baring conversation in Paris and a transformative connection in London, Julian’s double life is a high-stakes balancing act. But when his wife’s suspicions harden into an ultimatum, the walls between his two worlds crumble. Forced to confront the devastating cost—both financial and emotional—of his decades of deception, Julian must choose: confess the truth and destroy his family, or perpetuate the lie and annihilate himself.
This is an award-winning gay fiction contender, a deep dive into the closet’s corrosive grip. More than an MM romance, it’s a gay literary novel about identity, shame, and the fragile architecture of a life built on lies. Perfect for readers of emotional MM books and LGBTQ+ fiction that explores the raw complexities of being true to oneself in a world that demands conformity. Discover one of the best MM romance-adjacent stories of the year, a heartfelt gay love story that is ultimately about learning to love the person you’ve hidden all along.
Read with Pride. Dive into a profound and emotionally devastating exploration of identity, desire, and the crushing weight of a double life in The Transaction of Self.
Julian Croft is the epitome of success. A managing director of a global investment firm, he lives in a pristine London townhouse with his brilliant curator wife, Eleanor, and their two adored children. His life is a curated exhibit of power, respectability, and familial bliss—a gilded cage of his own impeccable design. But Julian carries a secret that threatens to corrode the very foundation of his world. Since his wedding day, he has locked away a fundamental part of himself: his attraction to men.
Unable to seek genuine connection, Julian has constructed a meticulous, secret system. Using encrypted apps and untraceable funds, he pays for fleeting encounters with men in the world’s cities—Paris, New York, Rio, Tokyo. Each transaction is a carefully managed risk, a temporary salve for a loneliness so profound it has become the core of his being. He is not just a husband and father; he is a client, paying a fortune to rent fragments of a self he can never openly claim.
This is not a simple love story; it is a map of a fractured soul. We follow Julian from the cold efficiency of a New York transaction to the dangerous, searching intimacy of a Parisian conversation, and into the raw, human connection offered by Kai, a London artist who sees through his facade. As Julian’s secret life becomes more emotionally fraught, the walls between his two worlds begin to crack. A name whispered in sleep, a buzzing phone heard at the wrong moment, a panicked flight from a boardroom to his daughter’s school play—each near-miss escalates the tension.
His wife, Eleanor, is not a fool. She conducts a silent investigation of her husband’s growing absence, culminating in a shattering ultimatum: one week to tell the truth, or she will leave and expose him. Trapped between the life he has built and the man he truly is, Julian is forced to stare into the abyss. He confronts the staggering financial and emotional cost of his duplicity, revisits the childhood shame instilled by his father, and finally, must choose between two forms of destruction.
The Transaction of Self is a masterful work of gay literary fiction and a gay psychological thriller that delves deep into the closet’s psychological prison. It’s a story for readers of heartfelt MM fiction who seek more than romance—they seek truth. This award-worthy gay novel explores themes of masculinity, fidelity, parenthood, and the desperate human need to be known. It is a top LGBTQ+ book for anyone who has ever felt the disconnect between their public face and private heart.
Perfect for fans of: Hanya Yanagihara’s emotional depth, the psychological tension of Patricia Highsmith, and the nuanced exploration of queer identity found in authors like Garth Greenwell. This is a gay book club essential, promising passionate discussion about marriage, authenticity, and the price we pay for our secrets.
Experience a journey that is as intellectually stimulating as it is emotionally harrowing. Read with pride as you swim deep into Julian’s mind, from the heights of power in London’s financial district to the intimate, rented rooms where he seeks salvation. This is a new gay release that will resonate long after the final page is turned, a stark and beautiful reminder that the most expensive transaction of all is the betrayal of one’s own soul.
3 reviews for The Transaction of Self
Only logged in customers who have purchased this product may leave a review.
-
The Aestheticist
£3.59Add to cartA killer is curating a gallery of the dead. Can a haunted detective stop him before he adds the final piece?
Detective Kaelen Rossi tracks a pattern of vanishing young men to the door of Dr. Alistair Finch, a brilliant surgeon with a chilling philosophy: true beauty must be preserved from decay. Finch is “The Aestheticist,” an artist who murders his handsome, gay victims and poses them as serene sculptures in a hidden studio. For him, it’s not murder—it’s an act of eternal preservation.
Rossi’s pursuit becomes a personal war against Finch’s twisted genius, a battle that nearly costs him his life and sanity. He survives to see Finch imprisoned, but the victory is hollow. Finch’s dark art has inspired a fanatical online following. A copycat emerges, and Rossi uncovers a devastating betrayal: Finch’s accomplice was a trusted insider, a medical examiner who helped him from within the investigation.
Now, a new, more dangerous disciple—”The Steward”—plans to scale up Finch’s vision into an act of mass terror, viewing a public festival as a canvas to be “cleansed.” With time running out and the people he cares about in the crosshairs, Rossi must confront a legacy of murder that refuses to die. He must stop a fanatic, outsmart a master manipulator from his prison cell, and reclaim his own soul from the killer’s seductive, monstrous logic.
A intense, psychological thriller, The Aestheticist explores obsession, beauty, and the terrifying power of a dangerous idea.
-
Add to cart
Your Passport to Liberation and Adventure in Europe.
The Ultimate Nudist Travel Guide to Europe is the essential handbook for anyone curious about or passionate about clothing-optional travel. This comprehensive guide moves beyond philosophy to deliver practical, detailed information for planning the perfect trip.
Start with foundational chapters on FKK etiquette and savvy planning tips, ensuring you navigate every situation with confidence and respect. Then, embark on a stunning journey across 24 chapters, exploring legendary destinations from the French Riviera and Croatian mega-resorts to Nordic sauna cultures and Alpine lakes.
Each location profile gives you the clear, unfiltered facts: precise names, descriptions of the vibe, and a breakdown of facilities—so you know if you’re packing for a rustic cove or a full-service spa. Discover hidden gems and iconic spots alike, from Spain’s Playa de Vera to Germany’s textilfrei wellness temples.
The guide also covers specialized experiences like nude sailing charters and the social whirl of all-inclusive naturist resorts, catering to every style of travel.
More than just a directory, this book empowers you. It’s designed to build confidence, promote a positive body image, and deepen your connection with nature through authentic, freeing experiences.
Stop wondering and start wandering. Whether you’re a first-timer or a seasoned naturist, this guide provides the knowledge and inspiration to explore Europe in its most natural state.
Get your copy today and unlock a world of unforgettable, liberated travel.
-
Concrete Heart
£3.99Add to cartCONCRETE HEART: A FORBIDDEN MM PRISON ROMANCE
Love is the ultimate survival instinct.
When Cris Vale, a sensitive young man serving a long sentence, enters the brutal hierarchy of Blackwell Penitentiary, he becomes the target of a ruthless prison gang leader. His only defense is Zak Winters—a solitary, intimidating inmate who operates by his own code. Zak’s quiet protection soon ignites a spark that defies all the prison’s rules.
From tense, vulnerable moments in the showers to stolen nights of desperate intimacy, a powerful love blossoms between Cris and Zak. Their secret affair becomes a sanctuary amidst the violence, but also a deadly liability. When their forbidden relationship is discovered, it is used as a weapon against them, forcing an impossible choice: deny their love or be torn apart forever.
Choosing defiance, they face the system’s harshest punishment—solitary confinement—where their bond is tested through concrete walls with only a tap-code for communication. Their struggle for each other ultimately leads to a bittersweet victory that offers one of them freedom, while the other must wait, their future hinging on a promise made in the dark.
Concrete Heart is a raw, passionate, and emotional journey of forbidden love and fierce resilience. This MM romance delivers steamy moments, tragic drama, and a testament to the human spirit’s capacity to find hope in the darkest places. A must-read for fans of gritty gay love stories and heartfelt LGBTQ+ fiction.
Read with pride. Discover the love story that proves the heart’s most powerful walls are the ones it builds around another.
-
The Velvet Rides
£3.59Add to cartLeo Sterling is London’s most discreet chauffeur, a silent witness to the secrets of the rich and powerful from behind his limousine’s partition. His rule is simple: see everything, acknowledge nothing.
That rule shatters when Alexander “Xan” Thorne, a formidable and intensely private tech billionaire, gets into his car. Their connection is immediate and electric, evolving from charged professional exchanges to a potent, forbidden attraction. Within the private sanctuary of the car and Xan’s lonely penthouse, they find a raw, passionate love that threatens the carefully constructed walls around their lives.
But their hidden world collapses when a tabloid exposes their affair, splashing Leo’s face across the media as a scandalous “distraction.” Overnight, Leo goes from invisible observer to public enemy number one, a liability to Xan’s empire. As the board demands a denial and the press circles, Xan must choose between the empire he built and the man he loves. Leo must decide if he can step out of the shadows and fight for a life in the blinding, brutal light.
The Velvet Rides is a steamy, suspenseful gay romance about love across class divides, the price of authenticity, and the courage it takes to choose your own destination.
-
Add to cart
A classic tale reborn as a passionate, groundbreaking romance.
Botanist James Walker seeks escape in the Indian jungle, only to find the local legends are true: Mowgli, the man raised by wolves, is real. He is wild, breathtakingly beautiful, and the jungle’s fierce protector. When Mowgli saves James from a tiger, a powerful connection sparks between the civilized scholar and the untamed spirit of the wild.
From tentative, wordless exchanges to searing intimacy under the jungle sun, they build a love that defies every boundary. But their sanctuary is threatened. A predatory tiger stalks their happiness, Mowgli’s animal family fears the complication of man’s heart, and the superstitious villagers see a demon to be driven out.
James and Mowgli must fight side-by-side, forging a partnership as equals to defend their bond. James faces an impossible choice between the world he left behind and the passionate, authentic life he has found. Mowgli must discover that the most powerful law is not of the pack, but of a heart that has finally found its true home.
The Law of the Jungle: A Story of Wild Love is a lush, emotional, and intensely sensual gay romance. It is a story of transformative love, thrilling adventure, and the courage to create your own destiny in the heart of the wild.
-
The Ashen Queen
£3.59Add to cartA Cinderella story reimagined with fire, passion, and two queens destined to rewrite their world.
Cinderella’s prison isn’t just a manor; it’s the frozen magic of her cruel stepmother, Beatrice. But beneath the ashes smolders a wild, elemental power. When a royal ball calls, Cinderella forges her own magic: a gown of twilight and slippers of moonlight, and walks to the palace on a path made by the loyal earth.
Princess Arianna, sharp and sovereign, seeks an equal, not a suitor. In the defiant, powerful woman who arrives from the night, she finds her queen. Their instant, incendiary connection defies court and convention, sparking a war with the vengeful Beatrice, who poisons the very land to destroy them.
To save the kingdom, Cinderella and Arianna must unite Cinderella’s nurturing fire with Arianna’s commanding will. Their battle is one of symbiotic love against parasitic control, a fight that will crown them as twin rulers of a new era.
“The Ashen Queen” is a complete, epic F/F fantasy romance. It’s a tale of intense passion, magical warfare, and a love so profound it heals a blighted kingdom and seeds its harmony into the stars. This is a “happily ever after” that builds a throne, founds a dynasty, and ultimately becomes the foundational truth of a universe. For fans of sapphic romance, dark fairy tale retellings, and stories where love is the most powerful magic of all.
Related products
-
Add to cart
How to Come Out with Your Book to an Audience (free after payment options under attachment section )
You’ve written a gay romance, a lesbian love story, or a groundbreaking piece of queer fiction. Now you need a publicist who actually understands your work.
readwithpride.comis the first portal dedicated to connecting LGBTQ+ authors with specialized publicists – but using it effectively requires insider knowledge.This 35‑chapter guide walks you through every step: creating a profile that attracts publicists, mining your manuscript for marketing gold, writing targeted pitches that get responses, and negotiating fair rates. You will learn to leverage beta readers, community forums, and live Pitch Parties to get noticed. Real case studies show how romance, memoir, and YA fantasy authors succeeded.
Beyond launch, you will discover how to handle negative reviews, collaborate with BookTokers, manage a crisis, and build a sustainable writing career. The book includes templates, checklists, and a 100‑day action plan.
Whether you write MM romance, WW contemporary, gay historical fiction, or queer thrillers, this guide gives you the tools to come out with your book to an audience that is ready to embrace it. No more generic marketing advice – only strategies tailored for LGBTQ+ authors on the portal that was built for you.
Read with pride. Publish with purpose.
-
Add to cart
A secret love could cost a prince his throne—or build a better kingdom.
Karim, a pragmatic engineer, solves water crises. Tariq, a visionary crown prince, is building a sustainable future for his desert kingdom. A chance meeting sparks an intellectual bond that flares into a forbidden, passionate love. Forced to hide in the shadows, they build a secret world of stolen moments and coded messages.
But in a land where tradition holds immense power, their romance is a political earthquake. Facing scandals, cyber-wars, and a formidable uncle who will stop at nothing to preserve the old ways, Karim and Tariq must do the impossible. They can’t just hide their love; they must legitimize it. Transforming from secret lovers to public partners, they wage a daring campaign, using green technology, legal genius, and public goodwill as their weapons to redefine monarchy itself.
This is a modern, masculine Cinderella story where the glass slipper is a solar panel and the fairy godmother is a shrewd political strategy. A sweeping 60-chapter MM romance set in a lush, futuristic Arab world, “A Royal Wedding” is a tale of epic love, high-stakes intrigue, and building a legacy that will change a nation forever. For fans of intelligent romance, political drama, and stories where love doesn’t just survive—it builds the future.
-
Add to cart
A Christmas miracle is more than a legend; it’s their only hope.
Liam, a pragmatic London lorry driver, finds himself stranded at a remote Danish Christmas tree farm in a blizzard. Elias, the lonely farmer, is fighting to save his family’s legacy from financial ruin. Thrown together by the storm, the two men form an unlikely bond that quickly deepens into a passionate and tender love.
But the outside world hasn’t forgotten them. A corporate giant is circling the farm, and Liam’s old life is calling him back. To have a future, they must fight for it, relying on their newfound partnership and the support of a tight-knit community. Their only hope lies in a local legend: the Julemand’s Star, a mythical token said to grant a Christmas miracle.
This is a heartfelt MM romance about finding where you belong. Set against the magical backdrop of a Scandinavian Christmas, this 59-chapter novel explores the power of love, hope, and the courage to build a new life. Perfect for fans of forced proximity, emotional journeys, and cozy holiday settings with a guaranteed happy ending.
-
Add to cart
A lonely student. A weary farmer. One Christmas that changes everything.
Leo, a broke art student in New York, can’t afford the perfect Christmas tree, but he can’t stop visiting the handsome farmer who sells it. Elias, struggling to keep his family farm alive, is drawn to the sad-eyed young man who admires his trees but never buys.
When the market closes, Elias offers Leo an invitation that will alter both their lives: don’t spend Christmas alone. Come to the farm.
Amidst the snow-blanketed fields and warm firelight of Hawk’s Peak Farm, a tentative friendship blossoms into a deep, emotional, and passionate romance. Leo discovers a sense of home he never knew, while Elias finds in Leo the strength and hope to fight for his legacy.
But after the holiday magic fades, real-world challenges await. Distance, financial strain, and family prejudice test their fledgling relationship. A fierce winter storm will force them to rely on each other, proving that their love must be as strong and resilient as the spruce trees Elias nurtures.
The Spruce and the Student is a heartfelt MM romance about finding love in the most unexpected place, and having the courage to build a future together. It’s a story of miracles, hope, and the enduring power of coming home.
-
Add to cart
The Silent Language of Us: A Novel of Unspoken Bonds
In a world of noise, they built a quiet world for two.
Arthur, a reclusive cartographer, and Leo, a soulful carpenter, form an unexpected friendship in the silence of the British Library. Their connection, built through shared glances, cups of tea, and a deep understanding of each other’s broken pieces, slowly transforms into a profound and abiding love. But this love has its own rules—it is a chaste, sexless bond, a fortress for two in a world desperate to label them.
Together, they navigate personal crises and societal pressure, their partnership becoming a silent language only they speak. Arthur helps Leo find his voice, while Leo teaches Arthur how to rebuild. They restore broken artifacts and, in doing so, learn to restore each other, discovering that the cracks in their pasts are what make them strong.
This 49-chapter journey is a testament to a love that exists beyond romance and physicality. It’s a story for anyone who has ever found a soulmate in a friend, proving that the most powerful connections are those built on the bedrock of unwavering presence, not passion. Discover the quiet, revolutionary love story of Arthur and Leo.


















admin –
Name: Marcus Thorne
Email: marcus.reads@mail.com
Title: A Devastating and Necessary Masterpiece
Rating: ★★★★★
The Transaction of Self is not a book you simply read; it’s an experience you survive. As a reader of literary MM fiction and gay psychological thrillers, I was captivated from the first page. The author doesn’t just tell us about Julian’s double life—we live inside his panic, his meticulous calculations, and his profound, aching loneliness. The structure, moving between cities and encounters, is brilliant. Each “transaction” reveals a different facet of his need: the coldness of New York, the intellectual spark in Paris, the raw humanity of London’s Kai. This is so much more than a gay romance; it’s a forensic examination of the closet as a psychological prison.
What hit me hardest was the portrayal of his family. The scenes with his daughter Lily shattered me. The love is real, which makes the betrayal so much more tragic. The ultimatum from his wife Eleanor is one of the most powerfully written confrontations I’ve ever read. This book doesn’t offer easy answers or fairy-tale endings. It offers truth—messy, painful, and ultimately, cathartic. It’s a top LGBTQ+ book for 2026 and an absolute must-read for any gay book club. Be prepared to have your heart broken and your perspective shifted.
admin –
Name: Claire Peterson
Email: c.peterson.books@mail.com
Title: Heartbreaking and Profoundly Human
Rating: ★★★★★
I typically read MM contemporary and gay romance novels, but this book was recommended as something “deeper,” and it completely transcended the genre. The Transaction of Self is a monumental work of gay fiction. Julian Croft is a character of stunning complexity. I found myself simultaneously empathizing with his trapped desperation and recoiling at the collateral damage of his lies. The author’s insight into the mind of someone living a double life is nothing short of breathtaking. The “system” he creates, with its encrypted phones and secret accounts, feels terrifyingly real, mirroring the way we all compartmentalize, albeit on a less dramatic scale.
This is a gay psychological drama of the highest order. The tension is relentless, not from external threats, but from the imminent internal collapse. The supporting characters are flawlessly drawn—Eleanor is strong and perceptive, not a caricature of a wronged wife, and Kai, the artist, provides a beautiful counterpoint of authentic, un-purchased connection. The ending is perfect: not tidy, but authentic and shimmering with fragile possibility. If you’re looking for steamy MM romance, look elsewhere. If you’re looking for an emotional, award-winning gay novel that will haunt you for weeks, this is your next read. Read with pride—and a box of tissues.
admin –
Name: Daniel R. Lee
Email: danlee.writes@mail.com
Title: A Literary Triumph for Queer Fiction
Rating: ★★★★★
As an LGBTQ+ author myself, I am in awe of this novel. The Transaction of Self is a stunning contribution to gay literature. It tackles the timeless queer theme of the double life with a fresh, modern, and psychologically nuanced intensity. The prose is razor-sharp and evocative, pulling you seamlessly from the boardrooms of London to the anonymous hotels of Julian’s secret world. This isn’t just a gay love story; it’s a profound meditation on the cost of authenticity in a world built on certain expectations of masculinity and success.
The use of different cities as backdrops for different emotional needs is masterful. Rio represents passion and freedom, Paris represents intellectual connection, and London represents the dangerous proximity of truth. The MM fiction genre is often pigeonholed, but this book blows those constraints apart. It belongs on the shelf with serious literary fiction. It’s a gay psychological thriller where the villain and the victim are the same man. The final chapters, dealing with the aftermath and the first tentative steps toward healing, are some of the most moving I’ve ever read. This is a new gay release that deserves major awards and a wide readership. An absolute triumph.