When Sam Smith's voice first broke through with "Stay With Me" in 2014, the world fell in love with those haunting vocals and raw emotion. But what we've witnessed since then? That's been an even more powerful journey, one of self-discovery, courage, and authentic expression that's inspired millions of LGBTQ+ folks around the globe.
At Read with Pride, we celebrate stories of identity, love, and resilience. And Sam Smith's journey? It's one of the most beautiful real-life narratives of non-binary expression we've seen from a mainstream artist.
The Early Years: Finding Expression in Fur Coats and Full Makeup
Long before Grammy awards and chart-topping hits, a young Sam Smith was already exploring their gender expression in ways that felt authentic. Between ages 15 and 18, while attending Catholic school (yes, Catholic school), Smith wore predominantly female clothing, think leggings, fabulous fur coats, and full makeup for three to four years straight.
Imagine that level of courage. In a Catholic school environment, no less.
But here's where Smith's story gets really interesting: when they entered the music industry at 19 and started working with collaborators like Disclosure, something shifted. Smith traded the leggings and makeup for jeans and t-shirts. Was this hiding? Going back in the closet?
Not exactly.
Smith later reflected that this period wasn't about concealing their identity, it was about exploring their masculinity. Meeting straight male friends in the music industry for the first time, navigating new social circles, trying on different facets of their identity. It's a nuanced perspective that resonates with so many of us in the queer community who know that identity isn't always a straight line from point A to point B.
The Power of Language: Discovering "Non-Binary"
Sometimes, the most transformative moment isn't a grand gesture, it's finding the right words.
For Smith, learning about the term "non-binary" was nothing short of magical. When someone finally explained the concept to them, Smith's response was immediate: "Oh my God, this is a place where I can exist."
That feeling of suddenly having language for something you've always felt but couldn't quite articulate? That's powerful stuff. It's why representation matters. It's why visibility matters. It's why stories: whether in music or in the MM romance books and gay fiction we celebrate at Read with Pride: can literally change lives.
Coming Out: A Two-Part Journey
Smith's public coming out happened in stages, reflecting the ongoing nature of self-discovery.
In October 2017, Smith publicly came out as non-binary, stating, "I feel just as much a woman as I am a man." They referenced their youth, explaining they "didn't own a piece of male clothing and would wear full makeup while attending school."
But the journey didn't stop there.
Nearly two years later, in September 2019, Smith took another significant step: changing their pronouns to they/them. The announcement was beautifully honest: "After a lifetime of being at war with my gender I've decided to embrace myself for who I am, inside and out."
A lifetime. Of being at war. With something as fundamental as gender.
Reading those words, you can feel the weight of that struggle: and the lightness of finally letting it go.
"Unholy" and the Return to Authenticity
Fast forward to recent years, and Smith has described their artistic evolution: particularly with their album featuring the hit "Unholy": as "actually just returning to what I was." It's a full-circle moment, a reconnection with that teenager who wore fur coats and full makeup because it felt right.
The "Unholy" era brought Smith back to bold fashion choices, unapologetic self-expression, and performances that celebrate fluidity and freedom. Critics could say what they wanted (and boy, did they), but Smith was finally, fully themselves.
And in February 2023, history was made: Smith and Kim Petras won the Grammy Award for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance for "Unholy," making Smith the first openly non-binary artist to win a Grammy. Let that sink in. First. In 2023.
We still have so far to go, but moments like these? They're milestones worth celebrating.
Love, Life, and Living Authentically
Smith's journey isn't just about gender identity: it's about embracing all aspects of life authentically. In May 2024, Smith confirmed a long-term relationship with fashion designer Christian Cowan, adding another chapter to their story of living openly and honestly.
What makes Smith's narrative particularly powerful is their consistent framing: they haven't "become" non-binary or "turned" queer. As Smith has emphasized repeatedly, they've "always been non-binary" and "always been queer." It's not a transformation: it's a recognition, an acceptance, a coming home.
Why Sam Smith's Story Matters to the LGBTQ+ Community
Look, we know Sam Smith isn't the first non-binary person to exist (far from it), and they're not the only one facing gender dysphoria or navigating public scrutiny. But visibility at this level? It changes things.
When a multi-Grammy-winning, chart-topping artist says "I'm non-binary, my pronouns are they/them," it educates millions of people who might never have encountered these concepts otherwise. It gives language to kids who are feeling what Smith felt at 15. It shows parents that their non-binary children can live full, successful, celebrated lives.
At Readwithpride.com, we see this same power in LGBTQ+ fiction. When readers discover gay romance novels or queer fiction that reflects their experiences, it can be just as transformative as hearing Sam Smith say, "I've always been queer." Stories save lives: whether they're sung, written, or lived.
The Ongoing Journey
What's beautiful about Smith's story is that it's not finished. They continue to evolve, to explore, to express. And they do it all in the public eye, dealing with criticism and celebration in equal measure.
That takes guts. That takes resilience. That takes the kind of courage we celebrate in the MM romance books and gay love stories on our shelves: characters who face adversity, who choose authenticity over acceptance, who dare to live out loud.
Smith's journey reminds us that coming out isn't always a single moment. It's often a series of moments, revelations, and choices. It's messy and beautiful and deeply personal. And most importantly? It's valid at every stage.
Standing With Sam, Standing With Pride
As we kick off this series celebrating popular singers who support and represent the LGBTQ+ community, Sam Smith feels like the perfect place to start. Their journey encompasses so much of what our community experiences: the early exploration, the struggle for language, the courage to claim identity publicly, and the ongoing work of living authentically.
Whether you're into contemporary gay romance, MM fiction, or just great music that speaks to the soul, Smith's story resonates. It's a reminder that our identities are ours to define, our journeys are ours to walk, and our voices deserve to be heard.
So here's to Sam Smith: for the music, for the courage, and for showing us all what it means to stay with yourself, even when the world wants you to be someone else.
Looking for more stories of LGBTQ+ courage and love? Explore our collection of gay fiction and MM romance novels at Readwithpride.com where every story celebrates authentic expression and pride.
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