Looking for Queer Freedom? Here Are 10 Things to Know About Being Non-Binary

Read with Pride Read with Pride - LGBTQ+ blogs and articles June 9, 2026

The Beauty of Being Non-Binary: Living Beyond the Binary Gaze

In the world of MM romance and LGBTQ+ fiction, we often talk about the journey to self-discovery. We celebrate the moment a character realizes their attraction to another man, the tension of the first touch, and the catharsis of coming out. But lately, many readers and authors, including Dick Ferguson, are delving deeper into the internal landscape of identity.

What happens when the "male" part of "male/male" feels a bit more complex? What happens when you start looking for queer freedom by stepping outside the traditional boxes of "man" or "woman"?

This is where the concept of being non-binary comes in. It’s about more than just pronouns; it’s about living beyond the "binary gaze", that societal lens that insists everyone must fit into one of two narrow categories. For many in our community, especially those who love gay novels and heartfelt gay fiction, exploring non-binary identity is the ultimate act of resilience and connection.

Whether you’re a reader looking for yourself in popular gay books or an ally wanting to understand the nuance of queer literature, here are 10 essential things to know about being non-binary and the beauty of living beyond the binary gaze.

1. The Binary Gaze is a Filter, Not a Fact

The first thing to understand about being non-binary is that the "gender binary" (the idea that there are only men and only women) is a social construct rather than a biological law. The "binary gaze" is the habit we all have of trying to categorize people the moment we see them.

When someone identifies as non-binary, they are essentially asking us to take those glasses off. In literary gay fiction, this is often portrayed as a character’s struggle to be seen for who they actually are, rather than the role society has cast for them. It’s a powerful theme that resonates with anyone who has ever felt "othered."

2. Non-Binary is Not "Trans-Lite"

There’s a common misconception that being non-binary is just a "stop on the way" to being a trans man or woman. In reality, being non-binary is a destination in itself. Many non-binary people also identify as transgender because their gender differs from the one they were assigned at birth, but their goal isn't to reach the "other side" of the binary. They are perfectly content, and free, right where they are, in the space between or outside of those poles.

3. It is a Vast, Beautiful Umbrella

When you browse the MM contemporary section of a bookstore like Read with Pride, you’ll see characters with all sorts of labels: genderqueer, genderfluid, agender, bigender. All of these fall under the non-binary umbrella.

Some people feel like a mix of genders, some feel their gender changes like the tide, and others feel they have no gender at all. In gay love stories, this adds a rich layer of complexity to how characters relate to one another. It’s about two souls connecting, regardless of how they navigate the specifics of their identity.

4. Expression is Not Identity

This is a big one. You can be non-binary and still present as "masculine." You can have a beard, love sports, and move through the world looking like a "typical guy," while internally knowing you aren't one. Or, you might enjoy wearing makeup and traditionally "feminine" clothes.

Your clothes and your grooming are your expression, but your identity is who you are inside. In MM romance books, we love seeing characters who challenge these norms, men who aren't afraid to be soft, or non-binary folks who embrace their ruggedness.

5. Pronouns are a Tool for Respect

Whether it’s they/them, he/him, ze/zir, or a mix, pronouns are how non-binary people signal their presence to the world. Using the correct pronouns isn't about "political correctness"; it’s about basic human empathy. It’s like using someone’s correct name. In the best MM romance stories, seeing a partner effortlessly switch to their lover’s preferred pronouns is a profound sign of intimacy and "getting" them.

6. Non-Binary History is Deep and Global

Being non-binary isn't a "Gen Z trend." Throughout history and across cultures, from the Two-Spirit people in Indigenous North American cultures to the Hijra in South Asia, genders outside the binary have always existed. They have often been healers, leaders, and storytellers. When we write and read gay historical romance, we are often uncovering these hidden lives that have been tucked away by the "binary gaze" of Western history.

7. The Intersection of MM Romance and Non-Binary Identity

Many readers wonder: "Can it still be MM romance if one of the characters is non-binary?" The answer is a resounding yes. The "M" in MM often stands for "masculine-aligned." Many non-binary people feel a strong connection to the gay community and identify as "gay" or "queer" in their attractions.

Dick Ferguson’s work often explores these "authentic internal struggles," where a character might be grappling with their identity while falling deeply in love with another man. It’s about the "full spectrum of human emotion," and that includes the fluidity of gender.

8. Transition Looks Different for Everyone

For some non-binary people, "queer freedom" involves medical steps like hormones or surgery to feel more at home in their bodies. For others, it’s entirely social: changing their name, their clothes, or just how they talk about themselves. There is no "right way" to be non-binary. Just as there is no "right way" to be a man. This diversity is what makes LGBTQ+ fiction so vibrant and essential.

9. Living Beyond the Gaze is an Act of Joy

While there are certainly challenges: like dealing with misgendering or navigating gendered spaces: there is also immense joy. There is a specific kind of "queer freedom" that comes from realizing you don't have to follow a script. You don't have to be the "strong, silent type" if you don't want to be. You don't have to perform. You can just be. This sense of liberation is a theme we constantly return to in gay romance series.

10. How to be a Better Ally

If you’re a fan of gay book clubs or just a devoted reader of LGBTQ+ eBooks, the best way to support the non-binary community is to keep learning. Read stories by non-binary authors. Listen when someone tells you who they are. And most importantly, don't be afraid to make mistakes: as long as you’re trying to see the person behind the label, you’re doing it right.

Finding Your Next Great Read

If you’re looking for stories that don’t shy away from the darker, more complex, or more beautiful aspects of the queer experience, check out the collection at Read with Pride. Dick Ferguson’s MM novels are crafted for the "emotionally invested reader": those who want to feel every ounce of jealousy, love, and resilience.

Whether you’re looking for gay thriller, MM fantasy, or a heartfelt gay fiction story that explores the nuances of coming out, you’ll find characters who stay with you long after the final page.

Read with pride, and let yourself live beyond the binary gaze.

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Images from this post:

A minimalistic illustration of a group of masc-aligned individuals of diverse backgrounds standing together in a park, laughing and showing a strong sense of community.

Two men sitting on a bench, one resting his head on the other's shoulder while they look at a book, emphasizing emotional depth and authentic connection.

An abstract minimalistic illustration of two hands intertwined, symbolizing movement, liberation, and queer freedom.

A man looking into a mirror and seeing an authentic reflection, capturing the internal journey of non-binary identity within a masculine-aligned experience.

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